Osho Mystic Rose alone


Eleven times I had done the process in the Osho meditation Center in India: the 'Osho Mystic Rose'. 21 days: the first week 3 hours a day laughing, the second week 3 hours a day crying and the third week 3 hours per day watching in silence. Eleven times, before I left for the meditation Center ' Osho Miasto ', near Siena, in Italy.
The Mystic Rose had given me so much: a deep contact with myself, feeling myself without any decoration: just pure, as I am. It had given me bright eyes, which instantly could see nature and the people around me; without all the layers of repressed ecstasy (laughter) and suppressed tears (crying) that had previously covered my eyes.

In Osho Miasto the work was intense. Seven hours a day I was cleaning there, 6 days a week. Once a week there was a day off. Every day I scrubbed the floors and toilets, washed the windows and mirrors, sucked the floors, folded the laundry and made the beds for the guests. Along with the other Italian workers, a woman from Mexico and a man from Ireland.

I was longing to do to the Osho Mystic Rose again. For the workers in the meditation center in India there used to be a workers-mystic-rose, very early in the morning, before work. But in Italy none of the workers was feeling to do it.

Then I thought: "why not doing it alone this time? It must be possible! " (Even though I recommend not to do the first Mystic Rose alone).

The meditation Center ' Osho Miasto ' is located on top of a very high hill. The road to it is quite steep: with the bicycle I usually had to walk the last kilometers. The centre is surrounded by forests, 20 km from Siena. Downhill there was s a little hut, where just two mattresses, side by side, fitted in. The hut had been used for the darkness-meditation long ago.
I was allowed to use that little hut for my Mystic Rose Meditation.

I cleaned it and put two mattresses on the floor.

Then I did a trial ... At 5 o'clock in the morning I got up in the dark and collected stones, to keep the wild boar at a distance, which could be aggressive when they had children.
I kept them away by throwing the stones here and there around me (of course not hitting the boar directly). I found my way to the hut through the darkness. As a pilot I would go laughing for half an hour to see if it was possible, to do it alone. I put my alarm clock on half an hour and then I started. Leaving the door of the hut open, so that I was connected with nature.

The first minutes I thought: "Modita, this is not possible. You need to do the Mystic Rose in a group ". Then I suddenly heard the birds chirping. They were greeting the new day by whistling, as the first faint sunlight began to appear.
And then I felt: I am in a group: together with the birds! And I continued laughing ... the whole half hour.


Very happy I took the road back to the top of the hill, and knew: My Mystic Rose alone can start!

Every day I descended the hill at 5:00 and set my alarm clock for 3 hours later, so that I did not have to watch the time, to see how long I was laughing already. Though I must say, that I could see by the sunlight on the trees, how the three hours were progressing.
I laughed out of pure delight about my lying down on my back on my mattress, or outside the hut, in such a nice way, with my legs in the air, the trees and the blue sky above me, the twittering birds around me. I laughed out of liberation, out of madness, out of relief, out of joy, out of exuberance! And at 8:00 I ascended the hill and started my cleaning job.

One time  in the morning, on my way to the hut in the darkness, I got lost. I searched  around, taking different paths and saw on my alarm clock, that it was already 5 o'clock.
I decided to start laughing and I continued my search for the hut while laughing... After a while I found it.

One day I wanted to put my alarm clock on the shelf in the hut, which was still dark, before I started with my laughter and my hand came down to something hairy ... It  scared me to death! It was the squirrel that happened to live in the hut. I felt a little scared when he stayed there and did not want to go out and did three hours of laughter in the presence of that squirrel!

Then the week of crying started. Four months before, my father was deceased. In a very dignified way. In a state of meditation, that was what I felt. I had such a deep respect for the way he had left his body. Even though it had happened quite suddenly. And I felt grateful that I was with him when he passed away.
When I started to cry in my hut, I felt, how much sadness was there inside of me, about his death and how much I missed him. For 7 days, 3 hours per day I have been crying to my father. It was a beautiful crying. My tears were not only to the lack of his physical presence (I say this because I felt him all the time with me), but it were also tears of gratitude to him and of a being touched by him very deeply. The tears were beautiful. And I felt how they were cleaning me, like a river that was flowing through me and took out everything which had been stuck inside.

 In the week of silence that followed, I was sitting in my small hut with the mosquito net, that I had put for the open door (Italy has so many insects!) and gratefully watched everything, that was happening inside of me: my feelings and thoughts and the sounds from the outside, the increasing heat when the sun was rising.. And sometimes all of a sudden it was completely silent in me.
After the laughing and the crying it was so easy to just sit in silence...

How grateful I am for this beautiful experience. And: also proud of myself that I dared to do this intense process alone!