Spiritual Feeling

I come home late at night, after a demonstration-evening of a meditative therapy. I walk to my bedroom, to close the window against the mosquitoes, and immediately see the shadow. Above, on the edge of my tilting window. A bird is sitting there motionless. He radiates a huge determination; a determination to sit there.
Because I'm afraid that he will fly inside, I close the curtain, touching its beak. Because he still does not move, I wapper with the curtain. But he remains sitting there undisturbed. Still motionless.


Knowing that, lying in the immediate vicinity of this bird,  I never will fall asleep, I take my mattress, duvet and pillow and move to the living room. My apartment has expanded now because of the bird. Now he belongs to my house. Sitting at my table in the living room I write in my diary and after three quarters of an hour I look again. The bird is still sitting there ...

The next morning is he has gone. A trace of poop, that runs over my window in a vertical line, reminds of his presence in the night. It has given me a precious feeling; the feeling that this bird has brought a message to me.

Only when I put back my mattress, duvet and pillow, I become aware of a large cloud of dozens of mosquitoes, floating under the ceiling of my bedroom.
And then I lose my consciousness ... In blind panic I start killing them one by one. Blood stains appear on ceiling and walls. Then I frantically spray around with my insect repellent, which enters my mouth and eyes. Afterwards I have a very bad feeling. Apparently a killing instinct is present
deep inside of me. Is it this, what the bird wanted me to be aware of? Yet it feels so, that he had a very positive message. For two days the precious feeling  remains with me. I feel connected to the message, and look deep inside, what this messsage might be. It's fine to be working on this.

Then I realize, that I can see everything and everyone around me as a messenger. Every person, every animal, every flower, every plant. We are connected. And when I am open for everyone's message, the connection is even larger. Because then I open myself, to allow something, which comes from the other. Then that message is there anyway, even when it is not the intention of the other to give something!

Now I better understand the story of the man, who very late at night knocks on to a temple door for shelter. The temple is filled with a collection of hundreds of wooden Buddhas. The priest gives him shelter. In the middle of the night the man wakes up from an icy cold, which makes his sleep impossible. He looks around and grabs one of the wooden Buddhas, puts it in the middle of a temple and lights it on fire. Grateful he treasures in the warmth of the fire and falls back to sleep.


When the priest finds him the next day, sleeping next to the pile of ashes, which indicate the remains of the wooden Buddha, he becomes very angry. He calls: "why did you get my Buddha destroyed?" The man, stirring with his cane in the pile of ashes, says: "Buddha? I don't find any bones here. I am a man of flesh and blood and felt extremely cold. "
The priest is not listening on and throws the guy out of the temple. With a ringing chain lock he closes the gate of the temple.

When the priest comes out about an hour later the man praying on his knees for a concrete pole, that stands next to the street. He has put some flowers around it and is burning some incense. With his face lifted into the sky in gratitude, he is saying his prayers.

The priest is getting closer. When the man looks up, the priest asks what he's doing there before that concrete pole. The man responds "a Buddha is hiding in everything, also in this concrete pole".