mai

Creativity of the Inner Child

As usual I am at my favorite working spot: Cafe 'the Enlightenment' in Library 'de Witte Dame' in Eindhoven. It is Saturday morning and still quiet. The light is shining through the big windows and I am waiting for my usual café latte...

born-again

In the corner with the books for children a boy of three years old jumps a gap in the air with his arms spread wide. His face is radiant and jumping he looks at his small brother and calls: "on his knees, mama look! on his knees!" His little brother looks up delighted, proud that his first crawling-steps are admired so much by his brother. Now his face is luminous too and his eyes are sparkling. His big brother is jumping and dancing through the library. So delighted... And I see through his eyes, how wide the aisles between the shelves are, how shining and inviting the floor, how beautiful the incoming light... Enough reason to throw your whole body in the dance and celebrate life! The whole life one big play paradise...

And I know from my own experience that this is possible for me too. Because I have experienced it in Oktober, in the Osho Born Again week: I was playing, running, screaming, laying down nicely when I was tired, being delighted when I had a new plan again, being naughty when I had invented something to challenge somebody else... I feel connected with these boys, because the child in me is playing with them and I am looking forward to 30 April, when I can again do the Born Again in such a short period of time.

I retrieve one evening of the Oktober born again week from my memory...

The bell is ringing and the whole playground is there before us... I run  around, because I have so much energy. The cardboard boxes and pieces of cloth in the room are very attractive... My running becomes a gliding on my socks... so nice to make som much speed on the smooth wooden floor!... it feels like gliding with my boots on the slippery tracks we made on the ice as a child by gliding on the same spot again and again...

I glide against a piece of  cardboard. A piece that has become round the previous evening, because someone has torn it that way. And suddenly I get an idea. A brilliant idea! I know that someone of the other born again 'childs' would love to have a ballet-dress... She as even been searching for it in the city. And I will make it for her, out of cardboard! Nobody knows about my plan yet. The other born again children are doing their thing. I scream of joy because of my good idea. And I know that I had this as a child too. That I felt such an enormous wave of energy, that I would like to scream of joy, when I had a good idea. And now I can just do it ! Screaming ! Nobody finds it crazy !
Dilligently I tear the cardboard and work on my paper ballet-dress. I know exactly how it has to look like, because as a four year old child I have performed with a faery  ballet dress. In the middle of the paper I tear a hole. I almost cannot wait until it is ready. Then I run towards her! Happy I show it to her and I see how happy she is! After some wringing she is wearing the dress and is dancing around in it. I am jumping around her! And enjoy so much!

Then I notice someone in a paperbox with windows... I try to get contact with her but this 'child' is crying and makes a repelling gesture. She has a protecting blanket around her. I feel that she wants to be alone and turn me off... A little bit disappointed, because I wanted so much to play with her, but I understand...

Then I don't know what to do any more. Laying down on a matress I hold up a small piece of cloth, from which a small thread is hanging down. Then I see that the thread is moving slowly on the wave of air of my breath. How beautiful! The thread is shining in the light of the lamps. And it moves so graciously. Softly I move the cloth up and down and the thread is moving with it in gracious small waves. Very long I continue this. So nice that nobody says to me that I have to dò something. To just lay down here full of wonder about something I have never seen this way before.

Then the bell is ringing. Everybody takes a chair or cushion to sit down for one hour, to go inside with one's attention quietly and watch what is happening inside. First I don't like the idea. One hour, it looks so long. But after the initial restlessness, I move towards a kind of timelessness. A very nice languor possesses me. A soft feeling. All others are sitting around me. One on a chair, the other on a cushion, another one leaning against a matress against the wall. Most of them are wearing something warm. It is nice to be together there. Nice, that we all have saved this hour to be with ourselves. Together it feels more easy. Sometimes there is a big flow of thoughts, then a kind of trance and then there is a clear consciousness again.

When the three bells are ringing after the silence hour, in our own speed we go to the nice tea room in this beautiful belly dance studio, which is designed in an arabic way with colourful clothes, tambourines, wicker chairs, belly dance dresses along the side with many bells attached to them and a nice tablecloth, and on this table: very nice sweets and fragrant tea. It is such a funny, warm and nice connection we have, adult-children under each other.

In the library I pull the wool pants off, which I put over my legging against the cold on my bicycle. Because it is warm enough here. I am surprised about some surprised looks. And at the same time I feel: how nice that I don't have to go to a small toilet to lash out all kind of antics to pool off the wool pants there. This I took of the born again: I follow my feelings, without bothering much about what somebody thinks about it. So nice!

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